It was one of those days where, both my infant and toddler decided to poop, simultaneously, within 20 minutes of just having their diapers changed already, and it was only 9am.
Yeah, that kind of day.
I hadn't even finished my first cup of coffee yet, and I'm trying to button my infant's pajamas. Only, it isn't working. Upon inspecting, it seemed as though I had ripped a button clear out of the fabric.
I blinked a few times, and just keep staring at it. There's no hole?! How can this be? How did I do that?!
Then I see it.
I was looking at the other end of the fabric, the button was just fine, I'm just an idiot.
(Don't ask. Apparently, not enough coffee + changing diapers = lunacy)
Freaked out by my scary, cat-like craziness, I continue to button him up, only to come to another "unbuttonable" button, this time apparently covered by cloth, as though I had mis-buttoned somewhere along the way and run out of snaps, or something.
So I went in for a closer look and discovered, nope, I had indeed done it right, there was just this magical flap of terrycloth covering it that I guess I had to move out of the way.
...
I'm really not this dumb, I promise. I've been around the block a time or two (or six, but who's counting). I guess I'm not kidding anymore when I say, coffee makes my brain work. I just proved my joke to actually be true.
Scary.
New mommy rules, effective immediately:
- Do not change diapers before first cup of coffee is finished.
- Do not button up pajamas before first cup of coffee is finished.
- Try not to use your brain to figure anything else out before first cup of coffee is finished.
- Make coffee earlier, and drink it faster, as your children are not going to abide by numbers 1-3.
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12 comments:
Approximately one minute ago, my 1yo took off his poopy diaper and waved it in the air - like he just don't care.
It was all-together against the Mommy Rules.
This is a messy business.
LOL!!! You're so right about the coffee! I feel like I can't function if I don't have at least one cup right away!! I know..that sounds pretty pathetic!
Oh yes, my pour 3rd child hardly ever gets his jammies buttoned back after a diaper change; he is just too wiggly and I'm too tired. Maybe I should just put him in dresses and nightgowns -- much easier, but since he is 20 months and not 2 months I probably can't pull off the boy in a gown thing, or at least not once my husband sees!
I suggest pj's that zip for the pre-coffee changes. I couldn't keep up with buttons, even when I was fully caffeinated.
Congrats! That's a big deal. I'm so happy for you on the top 100 mention...not the poopie diapers.
Sounds like my morning...we had two dirty diapers too...the second one required a full bath....all before my first cup of coffee.
You are funny. I am now following ya!
Thanks for visiting me on my big, bloggy day!
so funny! and congrats--I am going to check out the site.
I am so like that without my coffee. I've done the silliest things. :D
I think this means YOU are one of the top 100. Cause you rock!
Also, I totally agree. No thinking before full cups of coffee are emptied into my veins. :)
So basically...drink coffee, drink early and do nothing else before that.
It's funny how as I get older, I keep buying bigger and bigger coffee cups!
Congrats on the top 100 list! That is such a big deal!
I'm with you on the coffee post - my first rule is: Don't talk to mommy until the mug is empty. :)
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