1000th Post! Whoa.

I saw this on my dashboard this morning. I was completely taken aback, folks.

Firstly, I haven't posted since Tuesday? Sheesh! Guess I've been really busy.

More importantly - One-thousand posts. Wow!

I can't believe how much I've written and shared with you all in the past three-and-a-half years. How much we've gone through here in this space. Mind you, not all thousand (thousand!!) posts are published, I have many that are drafts, many that are in place for me to expand upon some day; some that are vents or frustrations that needed typing but not necessarily sharing; some that serve as placeholders, or ones that need more research, reflection. But one-thousand posts have been created here on this blog. One. Fricken. Thousand. DUDE!

I am grateful. I am so very thankful. Mostly, I am just awestruck, folks.

I created this blog as a way to share my life with others, as a born-writer who missed it so, I felt the need to write, and so I did. Sometimes it was funny. Sometimes it was thought-provoking. But it felt so damn good to write from my heart again, and so, I just continued. I had no idea what I was in for, the wonderful people I'd meet, the places I'd go, or how much I, myself, would grow as a person, as a friend, as a mother.

When I first began this blog, my now-four-year-old was our youngest, at only eight-months-old. My first-grader was an early three-years-old. My now-sophomore in high school had only just turned twelve. We still lived at Fort Bragg, NC. Our move was a hilarious move, we went through our first Louisiana hurricane. You watched my pregnancy belly grow with Baby Dude, and were here for his birth. I vlogged about the Motrin babywearing ad, which eventually ended up on the Today Show. I tried to feed a family for Thanksgiving and killed my desktop, then our laptop in the span of two weeks during Computer Meltdown 2008.

In 2009, I really started spreading my blogging wings. I shared our Steelers family with you, my daughter had a laundry party and I wasn't invited, I started a Splenda Experiment, which ultimately helped lead me to begin my weight loss journey. I went to Disney with a bunch of Mom Bloggers (awesome!), our favorite hanging tree fell in our backyard, I won a much-needed BlogHer scholarship, and was rushed to the hospital on my son's fifth birthday (the scholarship was NOT the cause, by the way). Instead of feeling as old as I look, I kicked feeling old's ass. And yes, I even interviewed Kelly Ripa (yes, THE Kelly Ripa!!). And fitting into a size 6 for the first time since before babies? SCORE! I decided to poll my friends for some hair-do advice, which subsequently ended up being cut way freakin' wrong, then recut again to be fixed, finally (sigh!). My toddler was bitten over 150 times by fire ants, my husband posted for the first time here, we drove the Rotten Meat Van™ around town unknowingly (bleh!), and I finally hit the 30-lb weight-loss mark (wahoo)! We ambushed my daughter for her birthday, teenage room makeover-style! Baby Dude and I went to Asheville to the Type-A Conference, then came home and celebrated Halloween and Veteran's Day, military-family-style. I was called a racist for this post about my son's resemblance (I know, what the hell?), we visited Disney as a family for the first time during Thanksgiving, and my then-kindergartner made a collossal chore mistake! (I still laugh about that one!)

2010 started out pretty rough for us. I went on a hiatus for a bit because I was being tested for a rogue lump in my neck, along with my son being tested for growth problems. In the meantime, I got sick and went through many adventures with my pharmacist, which lead to this hilariously popular post of mine. But we got the all-clear on our tests, thank God! I chronicled an entire week of our family life, every minute of every day was covered in crazy (holy cow!), and I vowed to redecorate our home to create a home to love. Baby Dude was rushed to the ER for stitches on July 4th (the first child of mine to ever to need 'em), and we proved in this video we are THOSE Target shoppers. Our ugly home got an outside facelift (holy crap!), and I showed the dork I really am by dancing by myself on camera. {shakes head} We went on a thirteen-state summer road trip, and I went to Blogher and my family met Jennie Garth and I hugged Padma Lakshmi! (OMG!) We came home to learn we'd face jail time if our kids missed too much school (fo' realz), I made Oreo Cookie Cakes for my teenager's birthday, and announced my goal to run my first marathon in 2011. My weight loss story was published, my son got schooled by me Halloween-style, and unfortunately we were flooded, again. Hugely proud, we attended my son's first band concert, and shared with you all our homemade Christmas tree.

As for 2011, so far, I've scared the crap out of my toddler making Dora Cupcakes, written about military deployments hitting WAY too close to home, recapped my mornings in a nutshell, and shared the single most hilarious handmade kid's Valentine's card known to man. And, coming up? In mid-March, my family will be heading back to Disney for the Disney Social Media Moms Celebration. End of March I'll be heading to Seattle to visit Nintendo Headquarters (can't wait to see the other Nintendo Ambassadors, woohoo!). In June, we'll be saying goodbye to Louisiana as we make another move, this time to San Antonio, TX. We'll be taking more trips, attending more conferences, and chronicling it all here, just as I have these past three-and-a-half years.

Thank you so much for reading and getting to know me and my family over these thousand posts. I am beyond grateful for this space, for having the chance to get to know you, too. Here's to a thousand more together!

Now, what about you? Are you celebrating this week/this month? Do you have a post you'd like to share with me? Maybe a "getting to know you" post I may never never read? Or, if you're a reader and not a blogger, leave a few fun facts about yourself in the comments. I really love getting to know you all. 

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Life is Supposed to be This Big

We ordered seven large pizzas Saturday night for dinner.

I'm not sure what we were thinking when we did it. We had an excellent coupon, and a gift card. We knew we didn't have anything planned to feed that many, and so, with three sleeping over added to the six we already had (yes, nine children total), we had to come up with something awesome, and kid-friendly, and fun.

As I boxed up the remnants, compacting them to the equivalent of four whole pizzas, I stacked the empties with a bit of recycling and walked outside, in the dark, to the garbage cans. The moon sat over me, gazing with her night-smile as the wind eased a bit of coolness against me.

I could hear from the outside the laughter from behind me, from through the closed windows, my children having a blast. As I placed the boxes in the recycling receptacles, it just clicked within me - I'm supposed to have a lot of kids. With our six, and the everyday craziness it's not just part of me, it is me. And having nine kids erupting the upstairs walls into the street right now? It may seem like so much to so many others, but not to me. Having so many children busting through the seams of our house just feels right in my heart-gut.

I'm supposed to have a lot of kids. I'm supposed to live crazily, laundry always to be done, mega-meals to be cooked, dishes to be run at least twice a day, with lots of hair pretties to put in, and diapers to change, and noses to wipe, and crayon marks to clean off walls. And oh, the hugs, the kisses, the snuggles, the wrestling-wars, the sport games and practices to attend. All the plays and awards ceremonies, and love. There is so much love within our large family.

Life is supposed to be this big.

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Rebirth of a Runner

I should've knocked on wood when I saw the 10-day weather forecast last week. All 60's and 70's and one day with a chance of rain. My running legs were itching to get back on track with the horrible weather we've had as of late. But then the flu laid it's bacterial smackdown upon me, and I went the entire week without witnessing the weather's beauty, as I was stuck in the confines of my germ-infested couch as I coughed my life away and prayed for my misery to end.

On Friday, I laced up my shoes, stretched some of the illness out of my tight muscles, and set out for my run, which was nothing short of a rebirth on pavement. My legs ached to get moving, but ached because they were moving.

Hello, blue sky.
Hello, unseasonably warm February air, with a hint of Spring in your scent.
Hello, grit under my shoes.
Hello, sidewalk.

As I rounded a couple corners, not pushing too hard, just keeping an even pace, I felt alive again. This run wasn't about speed, or endurance, or anything but becoming reacquainted again; with the road, with running, with breathing without hacking up a lung, with fitness after five days of nothingness. This run was about vindication, about celebration, about recovery, rediscovery, and renewal.

Hello, sweat, as you trickle into my eyes and hover dangerously off the cliff of my upper lip.
Hello, wind at my face.
Hello, sun, although setting, your heat fills me with a happiness I can't begin to put into words.

I am grateful for another week of beautiful, Spring-like weather. And you'd better be sure I'm knocking on wood this time.

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Heinz Ketchup Creativity Contest and More Reasons for My Kids to Decorate My House

Not sure if you noticed, but my kids LOVE to draw. Like, *big*puffy*heart* drawing with crayons, markers 'n stuff. I just wish they'd choose to draw on, y'know, PAPER, instead of my arm or each other with pen, the walls with marker, themselves. Sigh.

They're pretty super stoked about putting their drawing prowess to work in the Heinz Ketchup Creativity™ Contest in which they get to add their decorative flair to color Heinz Ketchup bottles, kid-style.

The Creativity Contest™, which Heinz has sponsored for the past five years, invites kids K-12 to enter and compete for a chance to be one of 12 winners who will see their artwork on over 20-million Heinz Ketchup bottles and packets.

Iconic pop artist Burton Morris is judging, and he will pick three finalists from each grade from all the entries submitted by March 4th. America will then vote online beginning April 4th for 12 winners on the Heinz Ketchup Creativity™ web site. The winners will also take home a $1,000 prize and an additional $1,000 for art supplies for their schools, and $1000 worth of ketchup! Dude! Ketchup for life! How cool is that?

Want to see designs that have won previously? Check out their Winners' Gallery here! Or send a cute Heinz e-cards, featuring last year's winning designs, to someone you think might be interested in the contest!

To enter, download the Contest Kit here which includes tips for teachers, a student artwork submission form, official contest rules, and the contest entry form (which are the ketchup packet templates). Also included in the kit is assorted graphics and clip art that can be used in students' Ketchup packet designs. Be sure to print extra copies, in case of mess-ups, and Heinz recommends making copies of your finished original artwork to save for posterity!

Classes can also download and print the Grade-specific lesson plans Heinz offers that are packed with classroom activities and fun facts about Ketchup, food and nutrition. (There are four different lesson plans available, divided by grades one to three, grades four to six, grades seven to nine, and grades ten to twelve.) Homeschooled and individual students are welcomed to participate, too!

I broke out the crayons with my children and we immediately got started. Unfortunately, I was forced to walk away, and this is the result:

 

It's a good thing he's cute.

And that I regularly stock up on Magic Clean Erasers. Word.

Surprise extra contest!

Are you a fan of Burton Morris like I am? Would you like to win a copy of his book, Pop! - a stunning hardbound in-depth study of Burton Morris' last two decades of iconic paintings? (Retail value $60)

To enter:

Leave me a comment telling me some of the wackiest places your (or other's) children have ever drawn on. Got more than one funny story to share? Tell me about it!

Winner will be chosen using Random.org. Pop! contest ends Monday, February 28th at 10pm CST.

Heinz and Foodmix compensated me for sharing these contests, but my opinions, children's messes, and humorous yet coffee-filled writings are always my own. Unfortunately, compensation did not include Steelers tickets, but a woman can always hope, right Heinz? Right? *Wink*Wink*Nudge*Nudge*

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Garbage Etiquette for Kids aka Mom is Sick, Pick Up After Yourselves, Little People!

Because I've been sick the past couple days, the housework has been passed over. A lot. Don't look at me like that. A mom's gotta do what a mom's gotta do, and when she's sick, she's "gotta do" NOTHING. NADA. ZIP. ZILCH. ZERO.

Unfortunately, this also means that no one else does anything, either. With mom too sick to notice, suddenly the children are secretly rejoicing in their rooms:

Yippee! Mom won't notice I haven't vacuumed up the filth I brought home with me today!
Yippee! Mom won't notice I'm wearing the same clothes since Monday.
Yippee! I can whiz all over the toilet seat, and she won't get up to admonish me for it!

Okay, maybe they weren't up there doing exactly that, but man, while picking up tonight? It sure felt like it. Yikes!

I finally braved my Drooly-Nose-Syndrome™ (also known as Leaky Faucet Nasal Cavities™) by shoving wadded up tissues into my nostrils and picking up a broom. A broom that hadn't seen movement, except when used as a weapon by my toddler, in almost three days. No bueno. Not only had it been a few days, but I was getting tired of traipsing through Mystery Substance #1 and #2, and the weird, gritty-feeling things between my toes you get when you don't sweep everyday. It simply had to be done, leaky nose or not.

As I swept up this evening, though, it came to my attention that I might need to go over some etiquette lessons with my children as to their proper usage of the garbage can, as it seems, in my sickly absence, the floor seemed to be where they aimed. We're talking, not even close to the garbage can.

1. When you drink a Capri Sun, place empty wrapper into the garbage. For crying out loud, you don't drink every drop of liquid in there, and when you inadvertently step on it, it squirts that remaining liquid out. Onto the floor. For Drooly-Nosed Moms™ to pick up. So, please, if you would, pick it up? *eyeing toddlers*
2. When opening up a piece a cheese, immediately dispose of the wrapper where? Oh right, the shiny white and silver trash receptacle in the corner of the kitchen we like to refer to as "The Garbage Can." By placing said wrapper in the can, we avoid Drooly-Nosed Moms™ from turning into Pissed Off Drooly-Nosed Moms Who Need Xanax™ from their feet constantly getting stuck to aforementioned wrappers left haphazardly on the floor. Heed my warnings, people. String cheese wrapper? GARBAGE! Sliced cheese wrapper? GARBAGE! Laughing Cow cheese wrapper? GARBAGE! Alrighty then.
3. If you are preparing a sandwich, pouring cereal, grabbing an organic toaster pastry, peeling an orange, or something that you prepare that may or may not stray pieces, crumbs, leftovers all over the floor, can you PLEASE for the LOVE of BABY JESUS in the freakin' MANGER, pick 'em up!? Do you know how much I hate crunching Cheerios under my feet? Or stepping onto an orange peel? Or squishing a dropped grape with my bare feet, or, even worse, in nice once-clean socks? Do you??

New Mommy Rules effective immediately:

13. When mommy's feeling sick, please help pick up a little more than usual. And by "little more" I mean, actually doing something instead of nothing.
14. If you spill something, clean up after yourself!
15. The floor is not your trash can, use the garbage pail!!!! #nuffsaid

*end rant*

You may now resume your regularly scheduled broadcast....

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Best Kids Valentine Card EVER!

It seems, one of my first-grader's classmates doesn't like him. Or maybe she really does, in a 'boys-are-icky' kind-of way, but she didn't want him to know it. Either way, I just about snorted coffee out of my nose when I saw this Valentine he received:

Tell me, how do you really feel about my son?{Giggle}

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Kids Arts and Crafts Lovin' (and Giveaway)

The day the Arts and Crafts Case for Kids arrived from Constructive Playthings, my poor daughter was sick from a stomach bug. She's a mirror-image of me, loves to do crafts, draw, paint, and to not be able to rip into this right away, it just about killed her. However, it served as an important tool in enabling her to get well:

"Baby, you have to rest and get better so you can do crafts with me!"
"Baby, you need to take this medicine, it'll make your sickies go away so we can do crafts!"

(What?! I'm not above bribing my kids to help them get better, or to get them to do things I need 'em to do. Ahem.)

And as soon as the coughing/vomiting/snotty nose/yuck went away, it was on like Donkey Kong. This girl has been a craftin' fool, since. I was happily surprised to see just how many lovely ingredients for magic it had already stocked within its drawers, with room for more!!

You see, before this, I had one of those white plastic dollar-store bins to keep everything into, which left things lost often times. While not everything fits into these drawers, it fits most, especially the teeny-tiny things that fall out. And I can refill it with our favorites, too. Perfect tiny-sized things for a tiny-sized human.

Case includes pipe cleaners, plastic gemstones, yarn, pom poms and googly eyes to paint, foam shapes, craft sticks, feathers, ribbon, and much more!

Win it!

Would you like to create some crafting magic using the Arts and Crafts Case with a special little person in your life?

To enter:

• Visit Constructive Playthings and take a look around. Come back here and tell us what tell us what other item a child in your life would love to receive. Remember that by clicking this link or button below, you receive a 15% discount off your entire order.

 For extra entries:

• Follow Constructive Playthings on Facebook (1 entry)
• Follow Constructive Playthings on Twitter (1 entry)
• "Like" my brand new Facebook page! (1 entry)
• Subscribe and/or follow my blog, and/or follow me on Twitter. I'm CrazyAdventures (1 entry for each, and if you already do for any of them already, it counts!)
• Share this post via blog, email, Facebook, Stumble, Kirtsy, Digg this post! (1 entry each 'share'. Be sure to comment each time!)
• Tweet this post on Twitter, come back and post that you did (1 entry per tweet - unlimited entries available!)

One Arts and Crafts Case will be awarded to one winner in either the US and Canada only (Canadians - Constructive Playthings is just on the verge of launching in Canada!)

Winner will be chosen using Random.org. Contest ends Tuesday, March 8th, at 9pm CST.

Good luck, and happy crafting!

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Valentine's Day Gift I'll Never Forget

He was set to leave on the 8th. It was an agonizing time, every second felt like a knife-jab to the gut because it meant we were one second closer to his going overseas. I couldn't bear it, I felt like I was dying.

The night before we blew up the air mattress, we were told 'the call' would come anytime. We slept together in the living room, clinging to our family as we knew it, even the small developing baby within me - if he could've reached through my skin to hold tight to my husband, he would have.

Several calls came and went that day - the plane was delayed, and each day was a gift given to us, and we were given many that week. It was an unfortunate turn of events that caused the plane to suddenly become "unbroken" just in time for Valentine's Day.

That night, yet another night on the blow-up mattress with my family, pregnant, holding onto a husband I feared letting go, I knew it would be today, and my heart nearly leapt from my chest to prevent that door from opening.

On Valentine's Day 2004, while pregnant, I said goodbye to my husband, deploying to Iraq.

While he was being issued his weapons, I recall staying in the car in the rain and finding an empty envelope to scrawl a poem onto right that second. Every emotion so raw, my tears overwhelming, yet the writer in me had to jot it down for him even then. He kept those words close to his heart his entire tour, words I folded up with my heart and gave to him as we parted that day. Words that made him cry when he read them for the first time on the plane.

Each day since his return has been an adventure, as we've moved, created a bigger family, changed (military) jobs, taken vacations, shared our hearts and lives with new and old friends alike. But each year, when Valentine's Day rolls around, with the hustle-and-bustle for love trinkets at jewelry stores filled with roses, cards and chocolates are running rampant, I still cling to my husband. He's the only gift I'll ever need. He is home. He is safe. He is beautiful, and we are together. And I will never, ever, forget the gift the Army gave me that day. Considerably the worst Valentine's Day ever, but one I won't soon forget or take for granted, ever again.

Linked to Army Wives Lives Military Monday

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Mom Takes a Nap, Film at 11

(Note: I would love to tell a beautiful tale of my husband's triumphant return home as being magical and awe-inspiring, but illness has seemingly gripped our small kids again, and it's been nothing but boogers and coughing for Round 2 of Douglas Family's Winter of Illnesses 2011. Blerg.)

Stop the presses, folks. Yesterday, I took an actual nap.

I know!! Don't throw tomatoes at me, or anything. No flinging your kid's poopie diapers my way, either. Trust me, if there was any other way, I would've remained a zombie-esque with my coffee-cup in hand until an early bedtime. But the deed had to be done.

I'm not particularly the nap type, either. I may kid about wanting one, yearning for extra sleep and snuggles and my pillow and the ever-popular "rest" thing all of us mother's crave, but the truth of the matter is I often wake up after a nap drowsy, hungover-like, and feeling particularly worse than I did before I slept.

Today, though, amidst the flu and ear infections impacting my two littles so miserably at present, I was quite literally the walking dead. This sleep-deprived version of myself could hardly keep her eyes open let alone function enough to care for the kids. And so, just as soon as I got both kids down, miraculously at the same time, with the kids zonked, hopped up on ibuprofen and snot, I tucked into the couch and under my fuzzy blanket, and snoozed for almost an hour.

But then, I didn't want to get up. Isn't that always the way? It's why I often muscle through the idea of napping - it's the waking up part that sucks the worst. But, I had no choice, my Baby Dude was becoming feverish, again. The ibuprofen needed administering, the fluids needed procuring and ingesting, and mommy at least got a small semblance of rest, even if only for an hour.

Thank God for coffee. (Can I get an Amen?)

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Another Day of "Did That Just Happen?" "Did I Just Say That?" "Can I Haz A Nap Now?"

Words actually said by me:

"Baby, DON'T DRINK THE SYRUP!"

Something I actually did yesterday:

I nailed blankets to the wall, covering my front and back doors.

What the crap?

Strange places I found peanut butter this week:

• On my entertainment center
• Smeared onto the toilet wand

Unbelievable as that sounds, yes, I did in fact say that, right after I found an empty bottle of $4 organic syrup and a sticky toddler. I guess chocolate chip pancakes weren't sweet enough. Ick.

And yes, I did use gigantor cement nails to put up thick blankets to help keep the horrific drafts out of or house, as flurries swirled outside, and noses began running as if on cue. Our uninsulated southern home was leaking in cold air horribly, and something had to be done. The temperatures were reaching the single digits and our home would not get warm.

Nevermind the Christmas decor you see here. My kids have been sick, yo.

And um, I have no explanations for the peanut butter, other than my children love peanut butter (like me), and are freakin' gross (so totally not like me). Unbelievable. And? Ew.

Just as unbelievable as the fact that I've done 238947238492374 loads of laundry, rewashing about half due to PukeGate 2011, as well as coming home with some sort of illness both times I shopped at the grocery store (the first was the aforementioned virus, and yesterday morning I woke up with (what I thought was) Pink Eye (despite my bathing in antibacterial lotion before/during/after the trip) (turns out, I either killed it in a day using the saved remedies, or it wasn't Pink Eye after all) (thank God).

Every text message to my husband is an update of something else gone wrong. It's exhausting and laughable and oh, ever-maddening. I have a headache the size of Texas and my toddler fell asleep on the kitchen floor waiting for his "HAH DAWDS*" to be ready (*Hot Dogs in Toddler-speak).

I almost wanted to curl up next to him. On the kitchen floor. Anything for a nap.

And then comes the news of no school and the entire post being shut down. An ice storm was coming. An ice storm in a place with no salt trucks, no plows, no winter preparation. I had hoped for at least snow, for snow angels and snowmen and snowball fights and things to occupy at-home kids. (and parents, who like that sort of thing. Ahem.) Instead, we woke up to this:

As beautiful as it is, encapsulating everything in glass-like ice, the kids can't play in it, forcing us all to remain cooped up indoors.

But hey, at least we got to sleep in an extra day, huh? Sigh.

(P.S. My husband flies home tomorrow night. I pray the roads have melted, and are safe for his hour-long drive back from the airport. Will you keep his safe return home in your thoughts and prayers for me, please?)


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