Alarm.
Snooze.
Roll over.
Alarm.
Split-second decision made to hit snooze or get up and fumble for coffee.
Snooze.
Alarm.
GOD-FORSAKEN ALARM!
Stumble.
Coffeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
And breathe.
Slurp.
Listen for kids awake upstairs.
ARE YOU AWAKE?
Slurp again.
Contemplate making an elaborate breakfast or serving cereal.
Make eggs (somewhere in between the two choices).
Slurp.
Flip eggs.
Slurp again.
Call out to kids for breakfast, take medicine, make drinks, sit down.
Slurp while preparing lunches.
Start the car.
Usher children to hurry to finish.
Argue with children about lunch time being so far away, and to eat more.
NO YOU CANNOT BE EXCUSED, DIDN'T I JUST SAY THAT? EAT!
Slurp and breathe, Lisa.
Socks.
Shoes.
Lunches to backpacks.
Backpacks to car.
ARE YOU DONE BRUSHING YOUR TEETH YET?
Sleepy toddlers to the car.
Kids filing out of the house to car.
Keys? Check.
Cell phone? Check.
Slurp. Ohhhh check.
Snacks and drinks for toddlers to car? Check.
Sanity? Um, HA. No.
DAMMIT, IT'S ALREADY 7:25!
Buses ahead of us (grr)
Drivers with no blinkers making turns, stopping short (double grr)
School traffic (GRRRRRRR)
ID Checkpoint.
Kids finally all unloaded, on time.
Unlock kids from car seat.
Unlock door.
Retreat to coffee at my desk.
Check time - 8am.
Slurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp.
And breathe.
Never miss a thing! Subscribe today for all kinds of crazy parenting fun!
January 31, 2011
My Mornings (in a Nutshell)
Follow This Blog
Free updates
Join My Blog Frog CommunityJanuary 26, 2011
Just Because Mom Knows Best, Doesn't Mean She Knows It All
We hurried along, sliding shoes onto feet, bundling coats on littles with zippers and snaps, and into carseats with seatbelts clicking shut. Once my six were piled on into the van, after a five-minute drive down the road, we arrived at soccer practice; the kids excited to see their friends, get their feet on a ball and, for those not practicing, play at the tiny park there.
My daughter, already in a foul mood, isn't used to having someone else be her coach other than her daddy. She knows her coach, though, he's our good friend, his kids are always over here, his other children are always on our older children's teams. But for whatever reason, this time it's different.
"Where's Daddy?"
"Where's my blue ball?"
"Daddy always has a blue ball for me."
"We need to doe-det (go get) my blue ball."
The first ten minutes were spent arguing with her that yes, this was still practice, even without daddy, and no, she didn't need her freakin' blue ball to practice with. I insisted that she either borrow another ball from one of her new friends, or we go home.
She opted to latch onto my hand with a death-grip, instead.
I had to run with her while she dribbled the ball. I had to walk with her here, and there, and when coach asked her a question, she had to whisper the answer in my ear so I could tell him, not her.
This wasn't exactly the kind-of soccer practice I was expecting. This child is a toddler-beast on the field. She dribbles and manhandles the ball impressively for her age. She takes control of the ball, navigates it, and scores a ton of goals. Right now? She was just a puddled mess of a toddler who wouldn't cooperate and wanted to be difficult.
Little did I know, she wasn't feeling well.
I took her and Baby Dude grocery shopping with me yesterday afternoon. While she didn't ride in the cart, she did feel like touching e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g she could reach. And when we finally got to the frozen food aisles, she was kissing food displays. Oy! I have no idea what may or may not have been on those doors, and displays and things she planted her lips on. What I do know? She woke up this morning puking uncontrollably as we were about to leave the house to drop kids at school.
This poor child has only ever had a stomach bug once, and that was last year. She's now four. As you can imagine, this is so traumatic for her, she doesn't know what to do, how to act, what is happening. Her eyes get large, she wants to lean back and rest her head instead of forward into the bucket, she wants to get up, wipe her mouth, she is simply doing everything wrong as she gets sick.
It is painful to watch her hurting like this.
To see her, laying a lump on her sicky-blanket covering her pillow makes me ache. Not but twenty-four hours ago, she was exercising with me on the Wii Fit, dancing to The Fresh Beat Band, and, even though she was being difficult, she was playing with her new friends at soccer practice (eventually, after our blue-ball, where's daddy argument, that is).
And I was short with her. I yelled. I was upset with her temper tantrum in the car, and quite aggravated at her behavior last night. She didn't eat well, either. And I got angry, threatened "no cookie" if she didn't eat more chicken nuggets or vegetables. Little did I know, it was a precursor to this. The pukey, semi-version of herself laying on the chair, limp.
Next time, I will remember this incident, bite my tongue, and be more careful as to not let my frustrations get the best of me. as there maybe more to their behavior than what I thought.
And, maybe, while I'm at it, I'll wash my kids head-to-freaking-toe after grocery shopping to prevent this from happening again. Ugh!
Never miss a thing! Subscribe today for all kinds of crazy parenting fun!
January 25, 2011
Just Keep Clicking...
When we visited our soon-to-be-new city of San Antonio, TX over the holiday break, we were coerced into visiting the Alamo by our in-laws. I wasn't exactly keen on the idea of sight-seeing just yet, considering there is much to scout-out before the big move, but I will say it was quite beautiful. The second we stepped out of the car, I knew my camera was going to get overworked. Even in its smallness (yes, believe it or not, the Alamo is small), the rustic beauty is overwhelmingly striking. I even got to use my remote clicky-thing to take a group shot in the gardens! However, once inside, there's a big sign out front that "forbids" you from using flash photography. I got a little creative, turned off my flash, and shot from my hip. (Something that, up until now, I was too afraid to try - what kind of shots would I get shooting from my hip? I can't see what I'm shooting? Little did I know, they may be some of the best I've ever taken.)
 |
| Gorgeous doorway garden shot. Loved the stonework here. |
 |
| This tree was MASSIVE. I immediately transported myself back to age eight and wanted to climb it. Wonder if they'll let me. Hmm.. |
 |
| It was so interesting shooting from the hip like this. The dimensions really stood out. |
 |
| The carvings on this sword were incredible. This picture doesn't do it justice. |
 |
| Ah, my sweet Baby Dude. This picture is getting printed to adorn our wall :) |
 |
| I like how this picture depicted the enormity of all the visitors navigating through the teeny tiny Alamo. |
 |
| I sat and stared at the antique pages of this book a while. |
 |
| My children signed the guestbook with me. |
 | |
| Here's the Alamo. You could see just how busy it was. |
 |
| A monument out front. Gorgeous, isn't it? |
 |
| This Christmas tree was so striking, even from far away. Kind-of wished I could stuff it inside my minivan and take home with me. I loved it so! |
 |
| Our group shot with the in-laws. Aren't we cute? I love my clicky-timer thing! |
January 20, 2011
The Untold Rules for Military Goodbyes
We stood there together, our pride busting through our collective skin, excited for our children, feeling rather celebratory for their win today at the County Social Studies Fair. We joked around, as we normally do, our families are so very close to one another, and we always razz each other, pretend punches to the arm, picking on each other like brothers and sisters do. Except, he isn't really my biological brother, he's my brother from our military family.
They never tell you that you not only marry the military when you marry your spouse, that you become bonded in an unspeakable way to all the friends you make through the military, too. They become brothers and sisters you never knew you had you can't ever live without.
Through his jokes, I could see it in his eyes in the silence that he was drinking it all in, as much as he could, living that moment as slowly and vividly as he could. Through his eyes I could see in it the countdown, the one that takes him away from his family, friends, and everything he knows for a year. The joy is marred by the "end" the countdown brings, and that countdown is ticking too loudly lately. In a couple weeks we won't see his eyes before us, joking with us, again for a while.
They never tell you goodbyes are like daggers to your soul in the military.
I took home his son today, for a play date with my son, to celebrate their win over video games and giggles. The boys rambled on like two lost souls suddenly finding each other in the van on the way home, carrying on like schoolgirls with jokes and bodily functions and laughter. They are the best of friends. He mentions his upcoming birthday party next weekend, that it's being held before his actual birthday, because they want to celebrate it before his father leaves. My heart quickens, my breathing slows, my eyes choke down tears while his words become quiet. They are soft, now, no longer loud and boisterous in celebration of a hard-fought school win, but in silence, pondering his father's soon-to-be absence, how bittersweet his birthday will be.
They never tell you just how much harder it is to cope with war when you have children.
We talked on the phone, his wife and I, the night before. Sisters-in-arms, we are, with eighty-kajillion kids between us and parental war-stories that often keep us chatty forever. We jabber-jawed about the fair, their projects, our kids, while constantly interrupted by our numerous children. She'd mention something, then another thing, gabbing as we do, until she came across something she'd noticed she would have to do by herself when he goes. And then, just like that, the breath became sucked out of her, like the wind knocked out of your gut with a punch, except this punch keeps on coming, it doesn't stop until the tour is over, he steps off the plane, and the signs and balloons and horns declare he's safe and he can rush to you and hold you and not let you go.
They never tell you about the super-humanly-charged emotions you feel, borderline psychotic emotions, even for your friends, your second-family.
And the sadness. They never, ever, tell you about the sadness you feel when a family you love is hurting because of an impending year-long separation.
You never realize how precious life and time really is until you're a military spouse, facing another deployment goodbye.
Never miss a thing! Subscribe today for all kinds of crazy parenting fun!
January 19, 2011
One, Two, Four.. What?
It's Day One of hubby being out of town, Day Two of my attempt at a sleep makeover, and Day Four of no fitness/running/working out whatsoever due to leg injury. If a zombie had milk-producing boobs and did endless amounts of laundry, that'd be me.
Hubs will be gone until the day before the SuperBowl, so it's one me, six kids, four soccer practices, three schools, and a five-bedroom shack in hell for two weeks straight. Sounds like a math nightmare, doesn't it? Hopefully, I'll get my sleep issues worked out in order to manhandle it all properly. The sleep issues that have reared it's ugly head as a result of Baby Dude's full-frontal assault on a good night's sleep have now caused insomnia. Lovely.
As for my leg issues, I noticed considerable pain while running and working out last week. My calves ached in the bone and the muscles were uber-tight and felt Charley Horse-ish all-the-time. It hurt to walk. It hurt to sit. It hurt to breathe. My remedy was rest, and while the rest has seemingly helped my legs, it killed my will and determination to do anything but veg-out and sleep (which, of course, is also related to getting no sleep, too), making me feel "bleh" and lazy.
I am kind-of a little bit of a mess, as was evident by my quieting my tears and emotional breathing while stroking my husband's chin stubble during our goodbye this morning. I hate it when he's away, it always brings me back to his deployment. I will always worry about his flight, plane safety, being hit by a bus, you know, crazy, irrational things when you love someone so much and are afraid of living life without them, ever.
On the upside, these next two weeks I'll be fully invested in my children, camp outs and popcorn movie nights, just me and the kids, which is usually the only upside to daddy being away.
But being without your love, your partner, your parental "back-up" for any amount of time is always difficult, let alone two weeks. Again.
Two weeks. Sigh.
Never miss a thing! Subscribe today for all kinds of crazy parenting fun!
January 15, 2011
Sleep Deprivation Awesomeness. Only Not.
When you first bring home your newborn baby, you're expected to be up all night. You have this sweet-smelling, squealing pile of baby fluff to coo and ooh at you, calling for boob, cold, unable to coordinate it's surroundings, needing you desperately. You're expected to be zombie-like as a new mother, and if you're lucky, you have friends and family that come to your rescue with meals, chore-doings, and other helpful items to help you survive those first days/weeks.
But when you're child is your SIXTH child, and isn't newborn, but TWO-FREAKIN'-YEARS-OLD!?!?
What the CRAP, yo?
Baby Dude has been tirelessly (literally) kicking my ass from here to next Tuesday every night this week. Some nights it's non-stop boob, some nights it's night terrors. Some nights it's just because he can. Two nights ago he woke up at 3:45am, fresh as a daisy, wanting "Mouse" (Mickey Mouse) and breakfast. THREE-FORTY-FIVE-A.M. This morning it was bright and early at oh-dark-thirty for a freakin' "too-tee" (cookie).
I am a shell of myself right now. I can't climb out of bed in the mornings. I sleep through my alarm everyday, that is, if I remember to set it. Thankfully, my husband is here to schlep the kids off to school in the mornings, because their mother is too busy sleeping it off like a groom after his bachelor party in Vegas.
Unfortunately, next Wednesday my husband flies out to leave us for two weeks (again) and I'm going to be left here to do it all on my own. As if that isn't hard enough, if Baby Dude keeps this up, I'm we're doomed.
I don't know what to do. I don't know what's wrong with him. And I'm suffering gravely as a result.
Anyone have any ideas as to what I can do to help him, and, as a result, help myself as well? I'm freakin' out, here.
Never miss a thing! Subscribe today for all kinds of crazy parenting fun!
January 11, 2011
Worst Tooth Fairy EVER
You know we continue to suck at The Tooth Fairy when..
1. Your child loses a tooth and you don't even know it.
2. Daughter tells your husband, who's around, showing him, but he forgets to say anything to you (see #1)
3. She has A.D.D., so she forgets to tell you, too.
4. She placed it under the pillow that night, but forgot it was there (see #3).
5. So did everybody else, except me, because I didn't know (see #2).
6. She finally remembered a week later, said something (to my husband). I still don't know anything about it at this point.
7. She forgets. He forgets. Again. (See #2 and #3)
8. She remembers, again. Decides to write a note to us (her parents) on the wipe-off board on the fridge so we'd remember.
The "Tooth Fairy" is SO fired. Sheesh.
Never miss a thing! Subscribe today for all kinds of crazy parenting fun!
January 8, 2011
Spinach and Artichoke Dip Recipe
I may suck at decorating cupcakes, but I don't suck at making food for gatherings.You know our love of football and baking/cooking from scratch. Having worked in many restaurants throughout college and thereafter, I learned a few tricks of the trade when it comes to recipes, and I believe my Spinach and Artichoke Dip recipe is to DIE for. I hope you try it and see for yourself!
The key to a really tasty Spinach and Artichoke Dip is adding a few dollups Frank's Red Hot sauce. I can't explain why, but having been forced previously to eat it without adding it, it just adds this extra, tasty "oomph" that is much needed to take the taste to the next level.
Spinach and Artichoke Dip with Chips
- 2 10-oz packages frozen chopped spinach
- 1 can/jar of artichoke hearts, chopped
- 1/2 cup mayo
- 1/2 cup sour cream
- 1/2 cup Parmesan cheese, grated (divided into two 1/4 cups)
- 1 tbsp minced garlic
- 1/4 cup Mozzarella cheese, shredded
- 4 ounces (1/2 cup) whipped cream cheese
- Frank's Red Hot sauce to taste (5-6 dollups is optimal)
- Mrs Dash Table Blend
- Onion Powder
- Garlic Powder
- Tortilla chips of your choice
- Pre-heat your slow cooker/crock pot by turning it on the "high" setting.
- Thaw your spinach in the microwave until it can be separated and no more ice is found.
- Place your sour cream, mayo, 1/4 cup Parmesan, garlic, Franks Red Hot sauce and one tablespoon each of Mrs. Dash, Onion and Garlic powder into the slow cooker; whisk until well blended.
- Chop your artichoke hearts; set aside.
- Blend cream cheese, remaining Parmesan cheese, Mozzarella cheese and one tablespoon each of Mrs. Dash, Onion and Garlic powder into the bowl of thawed spinach; cream together.
- Add artichoke hearts and creamed spinach into slow cooker, blend together; taste and add seasoning or hot sauce to taste.
- Cover; turn down heat to "low" and cook thoroughly until bubbly throughout.
- Serve with favorite tortilla chips. Enjoy!
Do you have a special recipe you like to make when entertaining?
Never miss a thing! Subscribe today for all kinds of crazy parenting fun!
January 5, 2011
Dora Cupcake Nightmare (aka Ways to Scare the Crap Out of the Birthday Girl)
 |
| Non-sucktastic Dora Cupcake "Cake" |
(At least, *I* thought it was spectacular, anyway.)
My newly-turned four-year-old decided she wanted to test my cake-decorating prowess {cough} and asked for, yet again, Dora cupcakes. Except, without the fancy schmancy cake decorator thingamabobs, I was left with a couple cheap-o plastic bags and my own, not-so-steady hand.
What was supposed to turn out like these Dora Cupcakes turned into the scariest bunch of Dora cupcakes on the planet. A veritable Nightmare on Birthday Street, if you will.
 |
| I know, friends. I know. Pitiful, aren't they? |
 |
| Exhibit A: Drooly Eyed Dora |
 |
| Exhibit B: Her eye outline is connected to her nose outline. And her eyes are drooly, too. Sigh. |
 |
| Exhibit C: Crooked Mouthed Dora aka Cracked Out Dora |
 |
| Exhibit D: "What-the-hell-is-wrong-with-my-mouth" Dora aka Mick Jagger Dora aka Steven Tyler Dora |
 | |
| Exhibit D: Jacked Up Face Dora aka Skelator Dora |
 |
| Exhibit E: Lumpy Faced Dora |
 |
| Exhibit F: Malicious Looking Dora |
 |
| Probably the only good view of the cupcakes |
{face palm}
(P.S. I don't always suck at cakes, y'know. Only sometimes. Ahem.
Never miss a thing! Subscribe today for all kinds of crazy parenting fun!
January 2, 2011
2010 Recap - Holy Crap, Where Does the Time Go?
Looking back at 2010, it's amazing how fast it all went. I remember some of these happening like it was yesterday, and yet, it was a YEAR AGO. Whoa. Dude!
Here's a quick recap of our family's year in 2010.
February - Pharmacists are out to get me, slurping cough syrup with a straw, a mother's prayer and dress up time.
March - RIP Stone of Awesome, being Freedumb, the scariest post I've ever had to write, but soon-after, the all-clear and yoga with Baby Dude.
April - When mom cries uncontrollably about ice cream and generosity, my 30 Day Shred Results, and I document an entire week in my life. Oy!May - Baby Dude gives Jillian Michaels a run for her money, definition of unicorns and rainbows, just call me the fly-whisperer, someone turned six, and mom breaks down.
June - Redecorating, organizing, and fun recipes - ahoy! Kid costume storage, fixing my couch, constructing a redone home, heart-shaped egg sandwiches, chicken tater tot casserole, and SUPER HEROES!
July - Redecorating updates, Baby Dude's adventures in stitches {sad face}, my son the photographer, our house redone outside, Facebook chat + SIL = awesome, me and all my dancing glory (aka like a dork), death by roadtrip.
September - Toddler soccer player, my marathon goal (gulp!), 1980's me (in pictures!) (oh boy!), Baby Dude's birthday, more about me.
October - Tackle football begins, the newest illness we can't get rid of {send help!}, our big family's laundry routine (brace yourself), Case of the What Ifs and The Story of The Box, if you ever needed proof, Mom's Always Right.
December - Army Wife Freaks Out, Film at 11, flooded again, the bestest day, first band concert, our homemade Christmas tree and DIY budget-friendly Christmas centerpieces.
Wow. What a full year, huh? Here's to an adventurous and spectacular 2011! I can't wait!
Never miss a thing! Subscribe today for all kinds of crazy parenting fun!
Disney World Armed Forces Salute 2011
Oh my gosh, Walt Disney World has done it AGAIN!! The military may receive discounted tickets for their service-member and their family members, yes!
Thank you so much Disney World for honoring our military again yet another
year, it means such a great deal to us!
Now, again, there are a few more changes from last year's Armed Forces Salute offer, so before you pack your bags and set sail for the wondrous Disney journey to
visit the happiest place on Earth, read on for the important noteworthy
changes:
-To date, Disneyland does not offer this special deal.
-The price per ticket has gone up, from $99 each to $138 each, as well as the price of the park hopper and more options add-ons, from $25 to $27 apiece. Still a wonderful deal, though!
-Black out dates this time around are December 27, 2010 through December 31, 2010 and April 17, 2011 through April 23, 2011, at all Walt Disney World Theme Parks and other gated attractions; and July 4, 2011 at Magic Kingdom Park.
-Important!! Tickets must be "activated" no later than October 1st, 2011 at any Disney World ticket window to be used. I will update this page when I get clarification to this, but according to the Disney World Military website, they say you can't activate your tickets any later than October 1st, but also, that they expire on October 1st. So, in actuality, if they do expire that day, then the latest you could potentially activate your tickets is four days prior, which is September 27th, 2011. But, sales for these four-day tickets go on sale through September 28th, so their final day of use should be October 2nd. Again, I will clarify this, if it was a misprint or typo. The details:From October 25, 2010 through Sept. 28, 2011 active and retired U.S. military personnel (including National Guard and Reservists) or their spouses can purchase:
- Disney 4-Day Military Promotional Tickets with Park Hopper Option for $138 each
- Five additional Disney 4-Day Military Promotional Tickets with Water Parks Fun and More Option for $138 each, AND
- Water Parks Fun and More Options for $27 each
- OUQ – Room only reservation
- OUR – Room only with Quick Service Plan
- OUT – Room only with Disney Dining Plan
- OUU – Room only with Deluxe Disney Dining Plan
Do not forget the Disney World Moms Panel for any and all your planning needs, they are an amazing bunch of moms and dads that are there to help you plan the best trip imaginable!
- Disney Military Promotional Tickets may be purchased Oct. 24, 2010 to Sept. 28, 2011 at Shades of Green ONLY by Eligible Service Members (defined below) or their spouses (but not both), for themselves and other family members and friends, as provided herein. These Tickets may not be otherwise transferred, distributed or resold.
- "Eligible Service Members" are active or retired members of the U.S. military, including the National Guard, Reservists and the U.S. Coast Guard.
- Shades of Green will require that Eligible Service Members (or their spouses) present valid military identification to purchase Disney Military Promotional Tickets.
- Eligible Service Members (or their spouses) who purchase Disney 4-Day Military Promotional Tickets for admission to the Walt Disney World Resort for themselves and their family members and friends will be required to activate those Tickets at Walt Disney World theme park ticket windows, no later than Oct. 1, 2011, in order for those Tickets to be used. Valid military identification will be required.
- No more than six (6) Disney Military Promotional Tickets may be purchased and (if applicable) activated by any Eligible Service Member or spouse (regardless of the place of purchase and whether purchased by that person or that person's spouse), and all six (6) must be purchased at the same time. Accordingly, no Eligible Service Member (or spouse) may purchase Disney Military Promotional Tickets at any military sales outlet if that person (or that person's spouse) previously purchased Disney Military Promotional Tickets (whether at that same military sales outlet or at any other military sales outlet or at any other place). In addition, one of the six (6) Tickets purchased must be for use by the Eligible Service Member or his/her spouse.
- Disney 4-Day Military Promotional Tickets for admission to the Walt Disney World Resort will not be valid unless and until activated (no later than Oct. 1, 2011).
- Each Disney Military Promotional Ticket must be used by the same person on any and all days. Disney Military Promotional Tickets may be used ONLY by the Eligible Service Members, spouses, other family members or friends for whom they are purchased. In addition, a valid military ID may be required for admission.
- Disney Military Promotional Tickets (including any options) expire and may not be used after Oct. 1, 2011. In addition, Disney 4-Day Military Promotional Tickets (including any options) for the Walt Disney World Resort may not be used on the following blockout dates: Dec. 27, 2010 through Dec. 31, 2010 and April 17, 2011 through April 23, 2011, at all Walt Disney World Theme Parks and other gated attractions; and July 4, 2011 at Magic Kingdom Park.
We're heading back to Disney this March, and I absolutely cannot wait! Happy Disney Vacationing!
Never miss a thing! Subscribe today for all kinds of crazy parenting fun!
