The Shower Dance

Sometimes, in the evenings, I have to scheme my way away from Baby Dude in order to get a shower. This never goes well, as I'm sure you can imagine. He's kind-of like the cutest boob-addicted leech you can imagine, but pulling him off of me for 15-minutes for a much-needed shower is like trying to rip duct tape off skin - painful and not something you ever want to have to do, let alone more than once.

My husband was busy doing his best, trying to keep him occupied while I scurried fast-as-I-could upstairs for a quick cleanse, but he must have heard the water start. Even in the loudness of the shower I could hear the wailing happening from down below, slowly increasing as his crying body crawled up the stairs to seek out momma. Sigh.

It wasn't long before I peeked out the shower curtain to see a pajama-ed Baby Dude, full-on crying, red pathetic eyes, arms extended (OHMYDEARGOD the arm-stretching, pick-me-up-I-need-you thing should be illegal), moaning "Mommaaaaa!" over and over again until I picked him up. Double sigh.

I was already sudsy, shampoo in my hair, half shaven, I couldn't get out! So, I came up with a plan - I'd strip him down and have him join me. It used to work, I figured, why not?

Wrong.

Once in the shower, he screamed. It wasn't too hot, but that was so not what he wanted. He yelled, cried, freaked the ever-loving hell out. My husband came in, scooped him up, re-dressed him, much to his dismay (because this child prefers nakedidity) (yeah, I made up that word.) (so what). And of all things, my husband took him out of the bathroom, away from me, again.

Cue the freak. Triple sigh.

(P.S. You don't think anyone's going to care that I have one shaggy leg, and one clean-shaven leg, do you?)

(P.P.S. Guess I'm only showering during nap-time now. When hubby's home. Which is, like, never. Quadruple sigh.)

(P.P.P.S. How many wackos you think are gonna respond to my job ad "Need Babysitter to Take Shower"? Yeah. That's what I thought.)


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Waxing, Where Have You Been All My Life?

I'm probably one of the few women alive that had never been waxed before. Until today. Except maybe that time I tried that fake-wax goop that was sold on late-night infomercials way back when. You know, which ended up causing massive bruising because it wasn't hot enough, or maybe I didn't pull it fast enough. I literally looked like I'd been beaten the crap out of the next morning, all bruised, ugly, and still hairy. Argh! So, if you can call that experience "being waxed" then okay, I've ventured there before. (You really didn't believe me when I told you I'd never gotten anything but a hairstyle done at a spa before, huh?)

But this time, it wasn't any novice (ahem, cheapskate me) attempting some fake-wax fad product, it was a professional doing it to me. I was in pro hands, now. I was already in getting my hair cut, rockin' the uni-brow because I'd lost my awesome tweezers and was too busy mourning the loss to realize the sasquatch patch I had above my eyes. The hairstylist took pity on me. She figured, I was already blowing a gazillion dollars in her salon anyway, why not spend another $10 and have a pro do it?

(And by that I mean, I begged, practically on my knees, for her to take the hair off my eyes. Who the hell cares about a cute, new hairdo when you're eyebrow hair is too busy snarling at you?)

She took me back into this room that had what looked like a torture chair with a dentist-esque table next to it. I was suddenly panicky, it was a small side room with no windows or anything, made of solid bricks or cement. I formulated this was to shield other customers from the screams of having hair ripped out with flaming hot wax? {Gulp}

She popped open this vat-O'-hot-goo and slathered some on a Q-tip, and applied it to my increasingly thick eyebrow mop O' hair, clamping down on some sheet of something, then QUICKRIPOMGWAIT but it didn't hurt. And she did it a few more times, then took out her tweezers to fix a couple stubborn hairs (oh, do I ever know, girl). She wiped and rubbed some magic something-or-other on me, and now I not only have cute pink-skinned eyebrows, they're neat, tidy, and smooth as a baby's butt. I'm serious. I can't top petting my eyebrow skin. (What? Stop looking at me like that.)

How the hell have I not discovered this whole "waxing" phenomenon sooner? Five freaking minutes, and my eyebrows are done, no arching my back into contorted, back-aching ways to tweeze and sneeze and pinch myself with pokey-tweezers that took forever and a day and never looked this good. Oh my goodness, best damn $10 I've spent on myself in a long while. Well, with the exception of my new hair cut. And if you ask me nicely, or offer me chocolate, I might show you a picture of it. Ahem.

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Oreo Cookie Cake Recipes

For my oldest daughter's birthday, I made her and her friends an Oreo Cookie-Shaped Cake. It was a two-layered chocolate fudge cake (two chocolate layers for the double cookies), made with a layer of whipped vanilla icing in the center for the "cream-filled" part. I used a single boxed cake mix, and baked it in two 9-inch pie plates (you can use two cake pans, too). To truly seal the deal, I quartered actual organic oreo cookies and placed them on the top. To make the oreos stick, I lightly frosted the part of the cookie that would be laying on the cake, and placed it on. Presto! Instant cookie-art for the cookie cake! Yum! (Although, these adorably artful cookie parts on top made it extremely hard to cut and serve. I think next time I might drizzle chocolate over top and crumble the cookies on top.)

Because I didn't have enough round cake pans for another cookie-shaped cake, for the second cake I used a bundt pan to create a Cookies and Cream Oreo Cake, slicing it in half to frost the center to create the creamy layer, then slathered some more whipped frosting on top, mixed with the crumbs from the cake, to create a cookies-and-cream look to the frosting. Yummy, right? Instead of crumbling or cutting cookies, I laid them out whole, on top. Made for easy, proportionate slicing, too.

For another cookie-inspired dessert idea, you might want to check out my Chocolate Chip Cookie Sandwiches with Breyers® Ice Cream video I made with my son, in which we made a colossal mess. Heh. (Disclosure: I used to work with Unilever to create content for their Family Dish website as a brand ambassador.)

What do you think of my cookie creations? Have you made anything like this before? If so, what did you make?

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Rollercoasters, Recovering, Washington D.C. and Thankfulness

Vacation took it's toll on me.

I ran on all cylinders while away, and sometimes even surpassed that. Being away on a whirlwind road trip vacation through 13 states is exhilaration (and exhaustion) enough, let alone coupling it with BlogHer and 2500 comrades-in-arms in blogland. Doing it back to back has sent my poor body into a tailspin, and I feel like I'm tumbling out of control, desperate for space yet simultaneously needing quiet cuddle time with my family. If that makes any sense whatsoever.

We could've used a week to recover from it all, but the way we were forced to time everything, what with my husbands work schedule and everything, we took this trip with little extra time to spare, every minute planned, allowing us enough driving time to arrive home with one day to shop for school supplies before school started.

Home on Monday night, school started early Wednesday morning.

There's been no break, no time to breathe, to regroup and recover. It's been one thing after the next. We're all spent, emotionally and physically, left slightly on edge, fumbling for normalcy.

Our weekends home are spent trying to do as little as possible, but that isn't easy when things still need to get done for school, additional supplies to purchase, additional groceries or toiletries needed. Instead, we could have all spent each weekend in bed, feet up, deep breaths, vegging out for the next few weeks and still not feel 100% caught up.

And soccer/football starts this week. My son's football practices are every day. Our other children's soccer practices are twice weekly, but they span out over the entire week, too.

It almost feels like it's happening too fast, like we're on a roller coaster that's turned up faster than what is normal, and shifting side-to-side and upside down, with loopty-loops churning our stomachs and overworked bodies into jiggling mush.

And yet I don't want to get off this dizzying ride.

I keep reliving the memories made on our trip. Recalling how hot and tired we were from walking in Washington that scorching day, enamored with the sights but beaten down by the blazing heat, overwhelmed by the richness of history around us, but relieved by the brief coolness of water that washed over us at the World War II Memorial.

After climbing the mountainous stairs to the Lincoln Memorial, looking out over the Reflecting Pool and across the water, feeling exhilarated and exhausted yet grateful to be there, surrounded by others feeling the same.

There was such an enormity to it all - an enormity to the memorials and statues, enormity to the weight of the history, enormity in feeling so infinitesimal and unworthy but enormously proud and honored.

Humbled, thankful, and saddened by the enormity of some of what we saw. I was almost unable to catch my breath.

It's something I've taken back with me. This slice of great in gratefulness for having lived, and breathed and been hip-deep in all of it, swelling with pride and honor like skin does when submerged in water too long. I'm pruny and wrinkly with admiration.

As I mentioned earlier, exhausted both mentally and physically. But, despite my exhaustion and the trouble I'm having reengaging, I'd drop everything to leave and do it all again this very moment. 

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Best. Picture. Ever. from #roadtrip2010 (Day 5)

Part of our road trip took us to Williamsburg, Virginia. Specifically Busch Gardens. With the yearly Anheuser-Busch "Here's to the Heroes" offer, we used to go to Busch Gardens once a year when we lived close by, on the east coast. It will always hold a special place in our hearts, and this particular visit meant a great deal to us to take our two youngest there, as they'd never been before.

We had an absolute blast!

I enjoyed taking eleventy-kajillion pictures, but this particular one will never be forgotten. Picture-proof my kids aren't as hardcore as they say they are when it comes to rollercoasters. This particular rollercoaster is called the Griffon. It brings you way up, stops you at the top, looking down 90 degrees (hence why I got this amazing picture), then after a few seconds staring at the ground, it drops you. Believe it or not, this was of my husband and oldest three children.

I was underneath. My husband saw me. See? Zoomed-in proof.

Haha, I love it! I can't stop chuckling every time I see it! They all laughed their butts off, too. We'll see next time we're on a rollercoaster if they're still laughing, now that they know mom's got the uber-camera. Heh.

For more Wednesday fun, visit Wordless Wednesday, 5MFM, MomSpective, MomDot, Seven Clown Circus and We Are THAT Family.

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Fashionable? Um...

While at the Hillshire Farm booth at Blogher, competing in the Hillshire Farm Sandwich Showdown, I commented to the mother of one of the kid judges about how adorably she was dressed. She thanked me and informed me her daughter picks out all her own clothing. Herself. She motioned to her little one, too, who couldn't have been more than five-years-old, and said she did, too. As in, these girls not only know what they like, but it looks good, matches, and is fashionable.

Whoa.

We're talking kids, here. Her oldest is the same age as my middle daughter. I couldn't believe it. Really? She picks out her own clothes?

I joked, asking her if I could borrow her daughters in order to teach my daughters how to dress. She laughed. I wasn't kidding. 

My middle daughter came down earlier, after having "dressed" herself to go to a movie with her brother, sister, and friends tonight. This is what my middle daughter thinks is fashionable.

God help us all.

"Baby? What the hell are you wearing?" I shrieked.

"What? Brown matches brown?"

Um, yeah.  

Help.

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"Send Your Kid to School, or Go To Jail." I'm Not Kidding.

(I'm forewarning you right now, this post contains 'colorful' words. I usually, artfully, fling a cuss word around or two every so often. But this!? This, my friends, is something else.)

We've been living here for two years. It hasn't been the most glorious of years or anywhere near it (to say the least), but we've done our best to attempt to make it work, despite horrible school issues in the past. 

Last year, our then-kindergartner was sick. A lot.

It was his first year of school and we found out the hard way that he's just going to be "that kid" - the kind-of child that catches e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g going around. We spent an awful lot of time last year nursing him back to health. He's also the same child who is struggling with being underweight and small in stature for his age, the one that has underwent cancer testing, bone-scans (and has come out "younger" than his physical age in that respect), the one that has developed asthma while living here, the one we're working hard to get healthy and what's considered "normal" for his age. The child we are facing who will, more than likely, be sick again this year. And we're prepared to treat him, to get to the bottom of it all, and make him healthy and strong.

But nevermind all that, nevermind the hard work, mothering, vitamins, protein shakes and keeping him home "to be safe" when he isn't feeling 100% because I didn't want to infect his classmates or teacher or get him sicker by exposing him to even more germs from others. Nevermind all of that now, because if we don't go to the doctor for every sniffle, every cough, every fever and obtain a ridiculous, tree-killing piece of paper for every time we keep him out of school, or are late to school (or pick him up early from school), we could face prosecution.

JAIL.

Yes, friends. In black and white, the Vernon Parish School Board (aka Old Idiots Who Love to Torture the Parents and Military Alike) have written, photocopied, and distributed throughout their public schools their decision to, yet again, screw the military and parents once more. But this time, this isn't just failing a child for absences, nor is it telling parents they'll owe court fines or do community service for excess tardies. This time, it isn't holding a child back for not passing their state standardized test despite their good grades, or for the archaic wish to continue with corporal punishment. This time, it's JAIL TIME FOR ABSENCES!

Read it here:

Oh hell no, I'm not going to stand for it.

Let me ask you, school board, were you ever military? Did you ever serve our country in our Armed Forces? Do you know how devastating a deployment can be for a family? You mean to tell me you are mandating a mother to send her traumatized child to school, who might need an occasional day of extra "mommy" time, cuddles and love? A child desperately needing hugs and encouragement in the comfort of their own home, or their wanting to be there when mommy received daddy's first call. What sort of doctor's visit would that fall under? Hmm? Sorry, kid. That isn't an excused absence, so you have to go to school or face an F for the day, not make up any work, and be one check-mark closer to your mother going before the judge.

Bullsh!t.

What about when daddy is deployed overseas, and it's just mommy and many little ones, a mom stricken with constant worry and strife, battling to manage it all while her husband is battling for his life, and mommy has a head-cold that's been passed through the entire family, including their school-aged child? A cold that doesn't normally need to be seen by the doctor, but to appease the ludicrous school board, this tired, worried, sickened mother is forced to clog up the doctor's waiting room and appointment schedule with her sick children, only for the doctor to have her continue on with over-the-counter remedies and told to let it 'run it's course' - you really want her to pack up the entire sick household, make them sit in the waiting room, only to be seen and told they're doing the right thing, all for a stupid piece of paper?

Are you f*cking idiots? I mean, can we be a little bit more ridiculous here?

Deployed soldier's children who are too upset to go to school the day after, crying and upset and want extra mommy time - no sorry, none for you, because we'll send your mommy before the JUDGE and COURT while daddy's away, all because we're mean, unreasonable assholes that don't give a crap about your family's issues. Vernon Parish's standardized test scores aren't high enough so, we're forcing you all to attend school even when you're sick or we'll send you parents to jail. (Even though, if I can be frank, it isn't the military kids causing your failing test scores in schools. My tenth-grade daughter, along with her military friends, are the youngest ones in their grade because everyone have seemingly all been left back at least once if not more in their education. Just sayin.)

Or let's consider our family, daddy is stateside and isn't deployed, but there are schools that the Army sends him to take him out of state that has to go to (he's gone twice this year already). You mean to tell me while I'm flying solo with SIX children, I'm forced to take them to the doctors every time, even when I know it isn't serious enough to warrant a doctor's visit normally? (Say, his asthma flares up, or he's got diarrhea and is embarrassed, or something like food poisoning when there isn't anything you can give him, anyway). All for a foolish piece of paper "excusing" him from attending that day for your records?

I seriously cannot stand this hole-of-a-place any longer.

I can't stand a place that has to make it incredibly difficult to attempt to live a seemingly "normal" life. We have battled for two years. TWO LONG YEARS in this God-forsaken place that still paddles children, that won't let me volunteer at school bringing my little ones (children who have not only done incredibly well in all our other schools we've been to/volunteered at, but who I wholly attribute their doing well when integrating entering school because they were able to come with while volunteering). A school district that allows teachers to verbally abuse their children that won't do anything about it, with principals who call parents and children liars for saying so. A school district that places so much pressure on these kids to pass the standardized tests to make these officials look good that they will fail them if they don't perform well, even if their grades are good enough to pass. I truly and wholeheartedly feel overwhelmingly sad, because this military post and school district has done irreparable damage to my kids and my family by not being adequate enough for our military families in having too little for them to do and being too overly strict for them.

My husband  will be filing an ICE complaint later. (For you non-military folk, it's the military's form of 'comment feedback' for every service offered. It goes straight to the post command and every complaint is read and dealt with.) I, myself, will be calling the school liaison in a few (a position the former liaison wanted me to do, actually), along with superintendent himself for answers to my questions. But I don't expect much from the superintendent, he didn't even call me back after my teacher abuse complaints last year.

Nine more months and counting until we're out of this hell and off to our next duty station, unless the Army decides to move us sooner. And should it happen earlier, despite it being in the middle of the school year, we'd jump on leaving early in a heartbeat. So would the kids.

Jail for absences. Unbelievable.

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Emotional

It's 10:22pm.

I'm tired with a chronic headache that has lasted almost a week, thanks to an eye ulcer and infection. Today has been a largely full day of chasing kids, breaking up fights, laundry spilling out of the laundry room because it towers too high, school pick-ups and drop-offs, breastfeeding marathons with a cranky teething toddler with pharyngitis and me, doing my best at trying not to go lose. my. @#%$&!*# mind.

And I feel like a big, honkin' F-for-FAILURE since returning from Blogher and vacation.

I can't get back into my groove. I can hardly recall what day it is let alone what I'm supposed to pull out for dinner, or do next in my day. And yet, the strange thing is, while I'm fumbling for normalcy and clarity, my family is orbiting around me, doing their 'thing', keeping it together. The kids are napping at the appropriate times again (and we've only been back from vacation for three days and it's only day two of school). I may not even realize it, but dinner's already been pulled out and set aside. Things get put away around me, without me, without my even knowing until several hours pass and I get that jolt of "D'oh!" and run around like a crazy person only to realize it's been long done and over.

I feel like I'm losing my mind.

I don't know what's happening, if it's post-vacation hangover, or too much happening at once (vacation, Blogher, school starting), but I just know that I'm trying my damnedest to grip onto life here at home again, and it's swirling away from me.

I could use a nap, or a good swift kick in the ass. Maybe even a friend's shoulder. But definitely a tissue.


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A Photo Recap of #Blogher10

How do you put into words memories like this?

Do you see the huge grin on my daughter's face? That's the "I can't wait to show all the kids at school," "This family trip doesn't suck," "My mom is pretty cool for bringing me to this event" face. (Well, maybe not the last one.)

Meeting P-Dub? No. Freakin'. Way.

Image courtesy of Hillshire Farms

Interviewed by Padma Lakshmi from Top Chef? No! Freakin'! Way!

Image courtesy of Kate Marsh Lord

Meeting a new bloggy BFF? Hell yeah! Miss you Sarah!

Image courtesy of Sarah Bond taken by Christine Young

Being carted in "Mario Kart" rickshaws through Manhattan Streets to the Nintendo Ambassador Dinner? Oh my word, YES!

Image courtesy of Nintendo Ambassador Flickr Stream

Dinner with lovely, lovely ladies - oh yeah, baby!

Image courtesy of  Nintendo Ambassador Flickr Stream

From left to right: MJ Tam, Carissa Rogers, Me, Miss Lori, Duong Sheahan, Jessica Rosenberg, Vanessa Druckman

Filet a la Awesomesauce at The Loeb Central Park Boathouse

Dude, it's Mrs. Potato Head!

Look at the look on her face, 'Get me outta here, Lisa!" Heh.

Oh. My. Gaw.

Museum of Modern Art love.

Super M training to be like the ones on stage at the Fashion Show

I won the Hillshire Farm Fresh Taste Showdown!

I had entirely too much fun, but I didn't get nearly as many photos with people as I'd wanted. I have to have a quicker trigger finger, it seems. That and a heat-seeking missile to find everyone I want to see, dammit!

Many thanks to Constructive Playthings for helping make Blogher '10 possible for me. I appreciate their partial sponsorship immensely. Be sure to check out their link in my sidebar to save 15% off your purchase.

For more Wednesday fun, visit Wordless Wednesday, 5MFM, MomSpective, MomDot, Seven Clown Circus and We Are THAT Family. 

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Thirteen.

Thirteen. Blocks.

That's what I walk every morning. That is the distance from our hotel to the conference hotel.

Thirteen blocks and blisters that have formed on my feet with whom I'm on a first-name basis with. The pavement below me is alive and I walk those thirteen blocks swiftly in sneakers despite my style of dress, happily strolling, soaking up every last piece I can, feeling the alive through my heels, happy to be home.

Home is where your family and friends are. And today, the day before, and the day before that? I was whole. Both my friends and family alike within arms reach.

Whole.

Thirteen blocks I'll gladly walk a billion times again and again for the bittersweet parting from my family for the heart-exploding reunions a few hours later, the ones where they clutch onto your neck as though they haven't seen you in years, and all you can do is breathe them in and pretend like you haven't, because you feel like you haven't. Where your ovaries and heart physically ached for them whenever someone else's little squeaked or became present.

Thirteen blocks of aching muscles, heart-pounding breath. To rescue, rejuvenation and reward.

(Many thanks to Constructive Playthings for aiding me in getting here, ultimately helping me to walk those thirteen blocks.)

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Our Family's #SonicareChallenge

My family is one of eight families taking part in the Sonicare Challenge. I couldn't be happier with the results I've been seeing.  


Or more ashamed. (Let me explain)

Before this challenge, I knew I wasn't doing the best at taking care of my teeth. I am quite aware that I am overdue at the dentist's office, too. Now that I'm brushing with my Sonicare Toothbrush twice daily (sometimes three times), I can see and feel such a huge difference, and see that I really need a dentist in some areas, too. But because I've slacked off on it, I've uncovered some problem areas that I do want repaired. I'm enjoying my brightened smile, my healthier gums, and I want my teeth to be as perfect as they can, now. Hence my shame.

(I'm gonna talk crazy talk here for a minute. Bear with me for a few.)

Once upon a time, a Kirby salesman came into my home and showcased for me the wonder of their newest vacuum. He showed me how the vacuum worked better than mine and many others, because the motor vibrated the dirt out from the carpet. I watched as he pulled crazy amounts of sand and dirt from my rug that I had just vacuumed before he demonstrated. I feel the Sonicare is like a Kirby vacuum for mouths. I feel that it vibrates the food and germs out from underneath my gums and in between my teeth, cleaning better than other toothbrushes could.

Not only am I seeing remarkable results using this toothbrush, I am also completely ecstatic at how green these toothbrushes are - they are rechargeable, no batteries needed. They hold their charge for a couple weeks at least! (I finally charged my toothbrush after almost three weeks!) I love how you only replace the brush heads every 3-6 months, instead of entire toothbrushes which would see the landfill.

And the kids' are partaking in the challenge, too. Their kids toothbrushes are really cool, not only coming with two heads outfitted for older and younger children, but two different speeds for younger and older children, too. They also have interchangeable faces on it, so the kids can have 'em "decorated" differently when they use 'em while they brush. The brushes sing to let them know when to change positions in their mouth, and let's them know when they're done.

Want to follow us while we're on the challenge? Check out the participating families' tweets by using hashtag #SonicareChallenge on Twitter.

Overall, we're pretty much smitten with these toothbrushes. And grateful for the opportunity to try them (Thank you Sonicare and Collective Bias!*)

Win It! - Closed!

Would you like to win your choice of a set of two replacement brushes?

To enter:

• Leave a comment telling me your favorite Sonicare feature, on any toothbrush!

For extra entries:

• Follow Sonicare on Twitter (1 entry)
• Follow Sonicare on Facebook (1 entry)
• Subscribe and/or follow my blog, and/or follow me on Twitter. I'm CrazyAdventures (1 entry for each, and if you already do for any of them already, it counts!**)
• Share this post via blog, email, Facebook, Stumble, Kirtsy, Digg this post! (1 entry each 'share'. Be sure to comment each time!)
• Tweet this post on Twitter, come back and post that you did (1 entry per tweet - unlimited entries available!)
• Or, keep the choices for your favorite Sonicare feature comin'!  Or do you have a favorite toothbrush of theirs, or one you want to try? Let me know! (1 entry per comment)

Contest open for 18+ US only, and will end August 10th. Winners will be selected using Random.org and, once verified, will be notified by email on August 13th. US only.

*Sonicare and Collective Bias, who compensated me to try these brushes and this challenge for 30 days. All experiences and opinions are my own.

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School Shopping Extravaganza and Beach Lovin' - Day 3 and 4 of #roadtrip2010

We're on a summer journey that will pass our big family through over a dozen states in the next two weeks. You can join me by following here or my updates on Twitter using the hashtag #roadtrip2010

My connection along the way has been spotty, so I'm going to combine some days to stay caught up. I hope. {Gulp}

Day 3-

We knew when we booked this trip that we'd have to carve out some school shopping time, since school starts literally the day after we get back. (I know. Holy crap!)

Despite taking the best care of my children's uniforms, we always have to replace a few or buy "up" to the next size due to growth spurts over summertime. I was particularly excited because I knew that my mother had a T.J. Maxx nearby that I could invade shop from. Figuring we'd make a day of it, we packed up all eleventy-billion kids, plus my sister's three, along with my mom, and made way to invade shop at T.J. Maxx.

As soon as we arrived, I was in love. It was inexpensive polo heaven for this momma -all polos were $5.99.

Considering these are some of the most inexpensive polos I've found anywhere, I was quite impressed. Especially the girl's - they had a variety of styles. I like the girls having girly-type tops. Plus, it makes it easier to sort clothes, instead of all the kids wearing the same golf-style.

See how freakin' cute they are?

And the pants selection was wonderful. $9.99 khakis!? Holy crap!

My soon-to-be-fifth graders even found backpacks, too. Both were under $15 each!

Once we finished up, we went to make way to check-out and realized, my toddler was missing. After about five heart-pounding minutes in which I freaked out Tourettes-style while we spread out calling to her, my sister finally heard her speak softly, tucked away nicely in a clothes rack. As it turned out, she wasn't quite missing as much as she was "hiding" wanting us to find her. Unfortunately for us, she never told us anyone it was hide-and-seek time.{Head-smack}

I think it was about this point I had a coronary. I can't be too sure, I think I blacked out or something, because it took quite some time for me to retrieve my mind after it imploded when my daughter went missing. Gah!

After the Great Toddler Disappearing Act, we all worked up an appetite and decided to go to lunch after that. (I mean, isn't that what everyone does after school shopping and losing toddlers?) My two youngest (to include the hide-and-seek prankster) fell asleep and slept in their strollers while we had a lunch date at the local Burger King. Yay for spazz-induced fast food! /sarcasm

We continued on our school shopping frenzy thereafter, filled with copious amounts of eye-drops for moi, of course. We finally came back to dinner cooked by my father and some combined family Wii time. I loved introducing my parents, sister and cousins to Just Dance. Too much friggin' fun, man.

Day 4-

First, I woke up with my eye practically glued shut. Pink eye sucks, dude. For really real. After I chiseled that crap off my face and washed up properly (yeah, you're welcome for that visual), it was time to get our game faces on. No sleepin' late this mornin'.

Our plan for this day was some much-needed beach time. We'd already swam in the indoor hotel pool, but for crying out loud, we were staying on the ocean, we needed the sand between our toes, and while there were no tar balls on the beach, we wanted to partake in the water while it was safe. However, algae decided to invade the beaches, and instead of white, they were green. So was the water as well. It didn't stop my family, though. They still splashed and built sand-castles with the best of 'em. All while I sat and lounged and worked on my tan in my new bikini. (Yeah, baby! I'm not too afraid to rock the stretch marks. And no, I didn't retouch the picture to hide 'em. This is my post-pregnancy, post-weight-loss body. For now. More on that another time).

Words I never thought I'd ever say at the tail end of this beach extravaganza - "ass algae" - as in "Oh my God, honey, you have algae in your ass! NO! NO! Do NOT pick out your ass algae there on the floor, you're getting in the shower!"

(Yes, the algae on the beach was apparently that bad. Yikes.)

After Operation Ass Algae Extraction, we packed up the van and visited my mom for lunch before we left. It is always hard saying goodbye to my mom and family, of course, but we left feeling better knowing we're going to see them again soon, either Thanksgiving- or Christmas-break.

From my mother's house, the navigation on our phones said the trip from Panama City Beach, FL to Atlanta, GA (specifically, Alpharetta, GA) was to take 5.5 hours. After getting gas and grabbing snacks, we finally got on the road around 2pm. We finally pulled into our hotel at a grueling 10pm.

Eight freaking hours. What the hell, man?

For whatever reason, this roadtrip likes to bitch-slap us time-wise on the road. We even had a pimpy hotel room at the Hyatt Place, too, complete with fitness center, indoor swimming pool and super-swank suite. But no! We couldn't be timely in our drive, stopping for eight-kajillion pee breaks and whatever else happens when we drive, like some Vulcan time-warp thing where objects in the mirror take longer than what the navigation tells you, or some stupid crap like that. I don't know?!

Needless to say, upon arriving at said super-swank hotel room, as soon as my head hit the pillow, it was nigh-nights time for this momma. No passing go and collecting $200. It was lights-the-frick-out. Of course, my dreams were filled with waking up crust-free and pink-eye-less. Here's to hoping, right?

Stay tuned for more driving adventures on #roadtrip2010 when I tell the tale of our next big chunk of driving time on our trip, also known as Death by Ass-Numbness.

 
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Channeling Unicorns and Rainbows, My Official "I'm On My Way to #BlogHer10" Post (Plus Vacation Stress)

As I mentioned in my dorky dancing post, yes friends, I! am! attending! the BlogHer Conference! (which might be news to you if you didn't see my dancing post, or aren't following me on Twitter and seeing the ridiculous amount of tweets from me all about it) See?

I know, the button's freakin' adorable. 

Right at this moment, I'm in our minivan, with all six kids and hubs, steering the direction of our vacation through Washington DC, ultimately to our hotel for the BlogHer Conference tomorrow. And I'm only a little, slightly, freaking the @#$*(@&#$ out. This isn't at all about parties, or people. I'm actually quite excited to attend and see my friends again (yes!!!!). My freaking out has everything to do with having taken this vacation beforehand, and whether or not hubby will be alright sight-seeing with all eleventy-billion of our kidlets while I'm at the conference. What the heck was I thinking? Gulp.

Call it superstition or what have you, but every morning I've woken up on our trip thus far has been a morning where I've pumped myself chock-full with my happy concoction of unicorns and rainbows (along with coffee), as well as a prescribed amount of knocking on wood, my head, while crossing my fingers, toes, eyes, legs, and any other body part that can be crossed to ensure our crazy plans continue to go at least semi-alright. Ahem. Because you know how hard it was for me to miss last year's conference, I'm not going to let it happen again.

My attendance this year has been made possible with loving help from the folks at Constructive Playthings, who generously assisted me in a partial sponsorship. I am grateful for their generosity. How much more awesome can they get? You really need to go visit their site and check out my awesome discount you'll get. Christmas is coming, folks! And? If you're attending BlogHer, too, look for me (wearing a Crazy Adventures in Parenting tee and Constructive Playthings bag) to trade business cards with, and you can win one of four awesome gift cards I'll be giving away! Also be on the look out for Karen of 3 Garnets & 2 Sapphires, a fellow-Constructive Mom. She'll be giving away gift cards, too.* (And, if you'd like the chance to win a new Constructive Playthings toy, get clicky!)

And so, since we're on our way as we speak, it's Operation Freak Out time, in which I get eleven-kinds of spazzy, not because of the conference, or agenda, but about arriving in one piece. And Murphy's Law, because Murphy really likes messing with me.{Sniff}

(And if you're attending BlogHer? Come find me and give me a huge, sympathetic hug, please? I really need the hugs. And coffee. And a nap. Heh.)

*Winners of the four gift cards will be notified via email and gift cards will be mailed. 
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Back to School - Interactive USA Map by Constructive Playthings (Giveaway!)

When we travel anywhere on vacation, we travel by car. In fact, at this very moment, we're on our biggest road-trip adventure yet! That's why I felt it was a no-brainer to pick this Interactive USA Map from Constructive Playthings for my kids to use while we're stuck in the car for hours. My intention was to give them something that is educational and situationally relevant; something that will also help them prepare to go back to school (all while helping keep 'em busy in the back seat for travel).

The Pros ++
The Interactive USA Map has eleventy-billion (read: 5,000) facts about all fifty states, enabling your children to learn in a question-and-answer, talk-and-teach kind-of way. The buttons are easy to read, and it really engages my elementary-school kids into learning more about geography and history, including each state's capital, population, landmarks, nickname, etc. My ten-year-old son is finding there is still a lot he has to learn about USA.

The Cons --
Bless the inventors of this toy for coming up with an engaging learning toy, but there is no volume button, and this toy is loud (to me and hubby at least, my kids don't seem to mind it one bit). Our intent is to use it in the car, and I can barely stand to be in the same room with it (several feet away) let alone in a cramped, air-conditioned car. Ha! So, because there is an extreme lack of volume control on this bad-boy (which is verymuchneeded), we will be placing duct-tape over the speaker to muffle it a bit for our trip ('cuz I'm the female MacGyver, after all). For my sanity. (And besides, it gives us a reason to bring duct-tape along, just in case one of the kids gets out of line. I'm kidding! Maybe.)

Verdict:
We mostly dig it. The kids all-the-way dig it. The end.

(Pssst, want a discount for Constructive Playthings? How's 15% on your entire purchase. Click that link or their button in my sidebar. Christmas IS coming, ya know. You're welcome.)

Win it! - CLOSED

Want to win an Interactive USA Map for your child? (Value $39 before tax and shipping)

To enter:

• Visit Constructive Playthings and take a look around. Come back and tell me which toy YOU think would be perfect for back to school time!

For extra entries:

• Follow Constructive Playthings on Facebook (1 entry)
• Follow Constructive Playthings on Twitter  (1 entry)
• Subscribe and/or follow my blog, and/or follow me on Twitter. I'm CrazyAdventures (1 entry for each, and if you already do for any of them already, it counts!**)
• Share this post via blog, email, Facebook, Stumble, Kirtsy, Digg this post! (1 entry each 'share'. Be sure to comment each time!)
• Tweet this post on Twitter, come back and post that you did (1 entry per tweet - unlimited entries available!)
• Or, keep the back-to-school toy choices comin'! (1 entry per comment)

The Interactive USA Map will be awarded to one winner in US and Canada only (Canadians - Constructive Playthings is just on the verge of launching in Canada!)

Winner will be chosen using Random.org. Contest ends Wednesday, August 11th, at 9pm CST.

Good luck, and happy playing!

Edit: Winner #74 @trippyjanet!

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