August 20, 2009

Sucky McSuckerson

Losing weight has been an awesome, life-changing experience. But it has it's downside, too.

You know what I miss? Not sucking.

You know what else I lost along with some excess weight? My ability to friggin' bowl. That's right - lose weight and your bowling game totally sucks. Yup kids - icing on the cake right - you suddenly suck bigtime at bowling. My kids even beat me! Gah! That's pitiful! What the heck, man?! I'm in good, physical shape now, I should be able to throw that thing down the lane with brute force, now! The pins should fear my shiny, red, pearlesque bowling ball coming at them with such lightning-fast speed! Rawr!

But, noooo! I am the Master and Commander of all that is sucktastic when bowling, now. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw I threw not one, but two gutter-balls in the fifth frame of my first game. Ho-ly crap! Oh sorry, family-of-mine, I must leave you to retreat back to my Fortress of Sucktitude™. Mommy lost a few dress sizes and the ability to bowl, and has now become the laughing stock of "The Alley". {hangs head}

Guess you really can't have it all. Losing weight means toddlers stomp you in bowling. The price you pay, I guess.

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